English 5, 6, 7 класс, анекдоты
Stages этап, стадия, период
The three stages of life:
1) You believe in Santa Claus
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus
3) You are Santa Claus
dog-tired – уставший как собака
— Doctor, doctor, I’m not feeling very well.
— What’s the problem?
— I work like a horse, eat like a bird, and I’m dog-tired.
— You don’t need a doctor. You need a vet.
Teacher: Who ever answers next question correctly they can go home.
Suddenly a boy throws out his school bag.
Teacher: Who threw the bag?
Boy: ME! I’m going!
One morning a mother was trying to wake up her son.
«Wake up now! It’s time to go to school.» «I don’t want to go to school,» the son replied.
His mother said, «Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go to school.»
«Okay. One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.»
«Not good enough»,- the mother replied.
«Fine», the son said. «Then you give me two good reasons why I SHOULD go to school.»
«One, you’re 50 years old. Two, you’re the principal of the school.»
A little boy asked in the zoo:
— Daddy buy me a monkey!
— But yo must feed it.
The boy pointed at the sign over the cage: «Monkeys shouldn’t be fed! «
Mom, I’m seventeen!!! Can I do make-up, wearing a mini-skirt and beautiful accessories?
«I don’t think it’s a good idea, Bill…»